GRADUATION IS IN 9 DAYS!!!!!! HOLY HELL I CAN NOT WAIT :))) ohhh and Just in case you all have forgotten my birthday is in 8 days :) muahhhhh -Em







for you mother.

Stress Should be Banished...

Hello again. Hmm I may be on here a tad bit too much, and I try to wait for everyone else to get a chance to write... but it is taking too long ha. I'm impatient. Along with that, I am suuuuper stressed out. I have projects up the butt in school, work that drags on forever, and dumb drama in areas it shouldn't be found. I need summer and I need a nice day laying out by the pool. Racing T down the water-slides. Listening to Kim and john bicker. And watching Kelli say, I'm on vacation, leave me alone.

Also I have been thinking. I have been dissecting the cause to the anger in the family, and I saaaay we all need a vacation. Lets cut school early, request off of work, and clear the table for new plans... Like going to.. idk Some place cool that's for sure ha.

Anyways, I was reading what Kenny the Benny was saying about moving away for college and getting the life he wanted, and how much it sucked in the mean time by missing out. And it has me worried. I really want to go to Utah State for college and get a PHD in psychology and get a Doctoral degree which includes a Combined clinical/counseling/school psychology degree. And the thing that freaks me out is, i have to go through Two smaller degrees before that to get the degree i want.. great. And it is estimated to be around nine years. NINE YEARS?! That's like most of my life, all over again. And to think oh how much I'll miss out on scares me. But I really think it will all be worth it. Well that's at-least what I keep telling myself. And then when I think about it, I won't be able to hang out with Dustin all night, and go out for food during the late hours of nighttime. And I won't have anybody there. like nobody. I would have to start all over again, and hopefully get by with paying bills.. The last thing on my mind is to being an adult, and having to pay bills and save money, and not being able to go shopping when i can. and I can't just go out and buy junk food.. ha I am going to suffer. And I find it lame that I am already stressing out college stuff, but I guess it's the time to start :( ha. Also, beyond that I'd hate to have to ask my parents to help me out on stuff for when I go to college. Like I know I will run short and not have enough money for certain things, and I rarely ask my parents for any money... And I hate asking for money. Makes me feel like I can't pay for simple things when I have a decent job.

Speaking of which, I want to quit mcdons right now. ha I hate it. I'm planning on getting a new job right after tennis season this coming up year. Then I can finally say "good bye my little grease factory." then I can finally throw my gross uniform AWAY! ha

Wow I rambled on a lot today. So I better call it a night. Even though I did just get Starbucks, And I probably won't sleep right away sooo I better catch up on homework. G'Night :)

Michaela Jo

Where's the anger coming from?

I was reading Kenny's blog about his anger and I find myself feeling the same. This is not normal for me. I know I'm Debbie-Downer but that's just the worry-wart in me. I worry about everything and everyone. Especially my family. I worry about Kenny and Heather being so far away. I worry about them in a situation of needing someone immediately and we're all hours away. I worry about them feeling lonely and out-of-touch or feeling like they don't have anyone to talk to. But lately, I've been feeling really ANGRY!!!!

I try to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. Why am I feeling like this. Here's what I think my problem is....I'm angry that my mom got screwed during a "routine" procedure at the hospital. I'm angry that she's not the same person she was before this happened. (BUT..I'm incredibly thankful that she is still here and doing as good as she is) I'm angry that Josh has to be a part-time parent. I never wanted that for any of my kids and Josh deserves more. (BUT....I'm very proud of the dad that he is and I'm so very happy that our old Josh is back!) I'm angry that Kenny is so far away and I can't see him everyday. (BUT... I'm happy for the person he's become.) I'M ANGRY THAT KASEY IS GONE!!!!! I'M ANGRY THAT MY CHILDREN, MY NIECES AND NEPHEWS, BROTHER, SISTERS, PARENTS AND ESPECIALLY KELLI, KARISSA, KEVIN, TAYLOR & DAVID HAD TO SUFFER LIKE THIS!!!

We all have so many things to be thankful for. Sometimes it's hard to get past the shit in our lives that makes us angry and see all the good. For me, I think that since mom got sick and Kasey died, I'm finding it even harder. Part of me is angry all the time. I know exactly how Kenny feels. I feel like my chest is going to explode too.

But let me tell all of you family-bloggers just why we are lucky....We have a family that can survive. We have a family that loves each other for who we are. We don't judge, we don't criticize, we don't fight or push-aside those who need our help. We stick together no matter what. I think myself and my sisters can be very proud of our children. We didn't have everything growing up, but we tried to give it to our kids. I'm not talking about material things....I'm talking about the togetherness and the love that each of our children carry with them. They know that all their AUNTIE "K"'S are there whenever any of them need us. For this we can be proud.

I do have a suggestion....If anyone else is feeling like me & Kenny....like you just want to explode.....we should line-up at the graduation party and lay the smack down on someone. Who wants to volunteer for all of us to hit 'em?

Is it June YeT!!!!!

Well based on the title of this post you would think its Emma or Karissa. Well I would have to sadly inform you that you would be wrong. It is the and only Jose JAun Pablo Martine JR. the OCHo. Or just kenny because I am not mexican. So I dont know whats really new with me other than just being really pissed off all the time. I dont know what the hell is up with me but ever since the end of work yesterday when i was cleaning my bay i just got this feeling in my chest of anger. I dont know what the hell I got angry about.. I just got this feeling. Its just weird because I am still angry and it has been almost 2 days. I have tried everything to shake it but it is just something that i can not shake off. I dont know it reminds me when I was a kid and used to get angry and turn into the worlds biggest little shit. I am sure that all of you remember my tantroms and thinking I was King shit. Well I have that same feeling now but just all the time. The feeling like I am just going to burst with some type of agression. It kinda got me worried because I dont like getting angry anymore like i used to. It like the whole incredible hulk thing. Where if i get angry i just go off and really dont think about what i am doing and regret it after. I guess that was the real reason why josh called me Lou Ferrigno was because I was controling my inner hulk anger. I dont know just having that feeling of built of rage in my chest and no knowing how to get rid of it sucks. I just need a break from work already. I have been working for 11 straight months now and everyone at work just tells me that i need a mentale health day. I dont know it does make sense to me of what they are saying but I just dont like to skip out on work when i am fully able to work. but i guess thats why they call it a mental health day. I ddont know i guess i am just a work ahalik. And yes i know thats spell wrong but who gives a flying flamingo. The way i see it is that I have a mental health day coming up is coming home for graduation. I think since being home a couple weeks ago really made me realize why i love it there. Getting to come home, getting to spend time with my family, going four wheeling with my dad like old times, and getting to go out the bar with the adults and not listening to no Kariokee. Sorry but i dont know how you can stand that crap every week. But I am really looking forward to seeing josh, jenny, megan, and kari seeing as they all decided to take a vacation the same weekend i was home lol Well I must say after reading heathers post I would have to agree with every thing she said. It sucks to be far away from home when the family is going through such time when you are half way across the country and having the time of your life. Its is hard to say the least. Since we have moved away we have put our selves through a true test of personal strength and our love tords our family. With missing out on Kaseys final year and everthing with grandma and now grandpa it is truely hard that is for sure. But know that our family raised us to get out of manitowoc even thought it was hard to see they knew that we had to go out and explore the world and not just sit around and let the world around you be given to you, but to grasp it and truely examine it for what it is. Which i am glad that they pushed me forward and did not let me give into the desire to give up and move back home. I am so glad i am in boston. I truely love this city. Just going down town on my bike and riding where ever i please causing havic where i please. Now a kid at work wants me to go to florida with him and work down there but i dont think i can do that because I like boston to much and Enjoy working where i am at.. well at least for now that is. But to digress I am super Pumped about coming home again and gettting to see you guys again. I know i was just home a couple of weeks ago but i miss you more now than i did when i was not home for months. EVery one make sure to eat your daily meats and I will talk to ya later.

Hey ya'll.
I stumbled across this picture via facebook and it really has had me thinking.. The excitement and happiness in this picture could tell a million stories. I remember this day. Well, I don't remember very much but I DO remember this... No one would have ever thought that anything bad would happen in the future. These were also the days when Kasey and I would fight constantly. Well, all I would do is cry because he would just walk up to me and pull my hair or bite my arm. I was always told to fight back but rarely did.

Images and memories like these make me hate knowing that I've missed out on the last years of his life. And I hate that I'm missing out on everyone getting older; mostly the grandparents. It's hard living so far away, however I could not imagine myself living in Wisconsin again. I love my life. I am making huge changes and I don't want them to end. I wish that all of you could come out here and visit because it truly is an amazing place; almost too perfect.

I wish I was better at putting the words and thoughts in my head out on the screen. There is so much to say that I'm not able to give you, but things never change.

It's Jenny again...

Hey everyone, it's been a while so I thought I'd update on my goings-on. For those of you who haven't heard, I'm moving in with Josh. I was living with my sister on Division Street for the past few months and we found out at the beginning of this month that the house we live in is being forclosed on. Josh and I talked about it and decided that it's time that we live together. I was afraid for you all to find out because of all the terrible things that I've heard about when he lived with Nikki, but I know you all already know that I am not Nikki (enough said about that). I'm looking forward to the move. I think it's a good thing and I hope that you all feel the same :)

Sorry that there aren't pictures posted from our Vegas trip yet. I'm slacking on my duties. I haven't gotten a chance to sit on a computer to load up the pics off my camera. I will try to get to that sometime next week. The trip was a BLAST! I can't wait to go back. There's so much to do there!

I also have some pictures from my trip to Wisconsin Dells last weekend for state darts. Saturday afternoon we went to the Torture Museum downtown Dells. It was super cool. I asked the old man working if I could take pics and his answer was that you really aren't supposed to but he cant see back there so... I took TONS of pictures. :) Some didn't turn out great cuz the stuff was in glass cases, but overall the museum was very cool.

Ok, I'll wrap this up now... I'm super excited to go camping! I think that says it all :)

Jen

howdyyy.

yeah, it's karissa. i haven't been on here in forever! majority of the reason because i never can come on the computer. and i'm too lazy to type everything i wanna say while i'm on my phone. BUT; on the bright side, no more full weeks of school for me! i'm oober excited. graduation's coming up quick! and speaking of which, my birthday was a few days ago, for those of you who are too old to recall such a thing. i had to work in the morning, then went to miltown with mi madre for the tat. and then when we got back to town, i went to valder's to kayla's house for a bonfire with some people. it kind of angered me that it had to snow that day, though. it was bogus! but, i'm over it. finally eighteen, that's all that matters, :)

i'm so happy that i'm the only good child in this family. hah; well, in this immediate family, anyways. everyone's gotten in trouble at school, whether it be detention or iss; everyone besides me. i guess it must be because i'm just that awesome. that's proof enough.

ah, summer's coming. graduation, camping, florida, and a crapload of slumber parties and bonfires. it's going to be amazing. or at least i'm hoping that'll be the case. since i'm not going off to college right away, i'm planning on taking majority of my days off of work to be gone camping or away from this mess of a town, and out doing fun stuff i won't have time to do once school starts back up again. if that made sense, hah.

anywho. i'm very overtired, even though i probably won't make it to bed for another 3 hours. but, i'll try. maybe i'll read, since that helped me last night. i'm just hoping for once i can get over 4 hours of sleep.

later, folks!