Stress Should be Banished...

Hello again. Hmm I may be on here a tad bit too much, and I try to wait for everyone else to get a chance to write... but it is taking too long ha. I'm impatient. Along with that, I am suuuuper stressed out. I have projects up the butt in school, work that drags on forever, and dumb drama in areas it shouldn't be found. I need summer and I need a nice day laying out by the pool. Racing T down the water-slides. Listening to Kim and john bicker. And watching Kelli say, I'm on vacation, leave me alone.

Also I have been thinking. I have been dissecting the cause to the anger in the family, and I saaaay we all need a vacation. Lets cut school early, request off of work, and clear the table for new plans... Like going to.. idk Some place cool that's for sure ha.

Anyways, I was reading what Kenny the Benny was saying about moving away for college and getting the life he wanted, and how much it sucked in the mean time by missing out. And it has me worried. I really want to go to Utah State for college and get a PHD in psychology and get a Doctoral degree which includes a Combined clinical/counseling/school psychology degree. And the thing that freaks me out is, i have to go through Two smaller degrees before that to get the degree i want.. great. And it is estimated to be around nine years. NINE YEARS?! That's like most of my life, all over again. And to think oh how much I'll miss out on scares me. But I really think it will all be worth it. Well that's at-least what I keep telling myself. And then when I think about it, I won't be able to hang out with Dustin all night, and go out for food during the late hours of nighttime. And I won't have anybody there. like nobody. I would have to start all over again, and hopefully get by with paying bills.. The last thing on my mind is to being an adult, and having to pay bills and save money, and not being able to go shopping when i can. and I can't just go out and buy junk food.. ha I am going to suffer. And I find it lame that I am already stressing out college stuff, but I guess it's the time to start :( ha. Also, beyond that I'd hate to have to ask my parents to help me out on stuff for when I go to college. Like I know I will run short and not have enough money for certain things, and I rarely ask my parents for any money... And I hate asking for money. Makes me feel like I can't pay for simple things when I have a decent job.

Speaking of which, I want to quit mcdons right now. ha I hate it. I'm planning on getting a new job right after tennis season this coming up year. Then I can finally say "good bye my little grease factory." then I can finally throw my gross uniform AWAY! ha

Wow I rambled on a lot today. So I better call it a night. Even though I did just get Starbucks, And I probably won't sleep right away sooo I better catch up on homework. G'Night :)

Michaela Jo

Where's the anger coming from?

I was reading Kenny's blog about his anger and I find myself feeling the same. This is not normal for me. I know I'm Debbie-Downer but that's just the worry-wart in me. I worry about everything and everyone. Especially my family. I worry about Kenny and Heather being so far away. I worry about them in a situation of needing someone immediately and we're all hours away. I worry about them feeling lonely and out-of-touch or feeling like they don't have anyone to talk to. But lately, I've been feeling really ANGRY!!!!

I try to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. Why am I feeling like this. Here's what I think my problem is....I'm angry that my mom got screwed during a "routine" procedure at the hospital. I'm angry that she's not the same person she was before this happened. (BUT..I'm incredibly thankful that she is still here and doing as good as she is) I'm angry that Josh has to be a part-time parent. I never wanted that for any of my kids and Josh deserves more. (BUT....I'm very proud of the dad that he is and I'm so very happy that our old Josh is back!) I'm angry that Kenny is so far away and I can't see him everyday. (BUT... I'm happy for the person he's become.) I'M ANGRY THAT KASEY IS GONE!!!!! I'M ANGRY THAT MY CHILDREN, MY NIECES AND NEPHEWS, BROTHER, SISTERS, PARENTS AND ESPECIALLY KELLI, KARISSA, KEVIN, TAYLOR & DAVID HAD TO SUFFER LIKE THIS!!!

We all have so many things to be thankful for. Sometimes it's hard to get past the shit in our lives that makes us angry and see all the good. For me, I think that since mom got sick and Kasey died, I'm finding it even harder. Part of me is angry all the time. I know exactly how Kenny feels. I feel like my chest is going to explode too.

But let me tell all of you family-bloggers just why we are lucky....We have a family that can survive. We have a family that loves each other for who we are. We don't judge, we don't criticize, we don't fight or push-aside those who need our help. We stick together no matter what. I think myself and my sisters can be very proud of our children. We didn't have everything growing up, but we tried to give it to our kids. I'm not talking about material things....I'm talking about the togetherness and the love that each of our children carry with them. They know that all their AUNTIE "K"'S are there whenever any of them need us. For this we can be proud.

I do have a suggestion....If anyone else is feeling like me & Kenny....like you just want to explode.....we should line-up at the graduation party and lay the smack down on someone. Who wants to volunteer for all of us to hit 'em?

Is it June YeT!!!!!

Well based on the title of this post you would think its Emma or Karissa. Well I would have to sadly inform you that you would be wrong. It is the and only Jose JAun Pablo Martine JR. the OCHo. Or just kenny because I am not mexican. So I dont know whats really new with me other than just being really pissed off all the time. I dont know what the hell is up with me but ever since the end of work yesterday when i was cleaning my bay i just got this feeling in my chest of anger. I dont know what the hell I got angry about.. I just got this feeling. Its just weird because I am still angry and it has been almost 2 days. I have tried everything to shake it but it is just something that i can not shake off. I dont know it reminds me when I was a kid and used to get angry and turn into the worlds biggest little shit. I am sure that all of you remember my tantroms and thinking I was King shit. Well I have that same feeling now but just all the time. The feeling like I am just going to burst with some type of agression. It kinda got me worried because I dont like getting angry anymore like i used to. It like the whole incredible hulk thing. Where if i get angry i just go off and really dont think about what i am doing and regret it after. I guess that was the real reason why josh called me Lou Ferrigno was because I was controling my inner hulk anger. I dont know just having that feeling of built of rage in my chest and no knowing how to get rid of it sucks. I just need a break from work already. I have been working for 11 straight months now and everyone at work just tells me that i need a mentale health day. I dont know it does make sense to me of what they are saying but I just dont like to skip out on work when i am fully able to work. but i guess thats why they call it a mental health day. I ddont know i guess i am just a work ahalik. And yes i know thats spell wrong but who gives a flying flamingo. The way i see it is that I have a mental health day coming up is coming home for graduation. I think since being home a couple weeks ago really made me realize why i love it there. Getting to come home, getting to spend time with my family, going four wheeling with my dad like old times, and getting to go out the bar with the adults and not listening to no Kariokee. Sorry but i dont know how you can stand that crap every week. But I am really looking forward to seeing josh, jenny, megan, and kari seeing as they all decided to take a vacation the same weekend i was home lol Well I must say after reading heathers post I would have to agree with every thing she said. It sucks to be far away from home when the family is going through such time when you are half way across the country and having the time of your life. Its is hard to say the least. Since we have moved away we have put our selves through a true test of personal strength and our love tords our family. With missing out on Kaseys final year and everthing with grandma and now grandpa it is truely hard that is for sure. But know that our family raised us to get out of manitowoc even thought it was hard to see they knew that we had to go out and explore the world and not just sit around and let the world around you be given to you, but to grasp it and truely examine it for what it is. Which i am glad that they pushed me forward and did not let me give into the desire to give up and move back home. I am so glad i am in boston. I truely love this city. Just going down town on my bike and riding where ever i please causing havic where i please. Now a kid at work wants me to go to florida with him and work down there but i dont think i can do that because I like boston to much and Enjoy working where i am at.. well at least for now that is. But to digress I am super Pumped about coming home again and gettting to see you guys again. I know i was just home a couple of weeks ago but i miss you more now than i did when i was not home for months. EVery one make sure to eat your daily meats and I will talk to ya later.

Hey ya'll.
I stumbled across this picture via facebook and it really has had me thinking.. The excitement and happiness in this picture could tell a million stories. I remember this day. Well, I don't remember very much but I DO remember this... No one would have ever thought that anything bad would happen in the future. These were also the days when Kasey and I would fight constantly. Well, all I would do is cry because he would just walk up to me and pull my hair or bite my arm. I was always told to fight back but rarely did.

Images and memories like these make me hate knowing that I've missed out on the last years of his life. And I hate that I'm missing out on everyone getting older; mostly the grandparents. It's hard living so far away, however I could not imagine myself living in Wisconsin again. I love my life. I am making huge changes and I don't want them to end. I wish that all of you could come out here and visit because it truly is an amazing place; almost too perfect.

I wish I was better at putting the words and thoughts in my head out on the screen. There is so much to say that I'm not able to give you, but things never change.

It's Jenny again...

Hey everyone, it's been a while so I thought I'd update on my goings-on. For those of you who haven't heard, I'm moving in with Josh. I was living with my sister on Division Street for the past few months and we found out at the beginning of this month that the house we live in is being forclosed on. Josh and I talked about it and decided that it's time that we live together. I was afraid for you all to find out because of all the terrible things that I've heard about when he lived with Nikki, but I know you all already know that I am not Nikki (enough said about that). I'm looking forward to the move. I think it's a good thing and I hope that you all feel the same :)

Sorry that there aren't pictures posted from our Vegas trip yet. I'm slacking on my duties. I haven't gotten a chance to sit on a computer to load up the pics off my camera. I will try to get to that sometime next week. The trip was a BLAST! I can't wait to go back. There's so much to do there!

I also have some pictures from my trip to Wisconsin Dells last weekend for state darts. Saturday afternoon we went to the Torture Museum downtown Dells. It was super cool. I asked the old man working if I could take pics and his answer was that you really aren't supposed to but he cant see back there so... I took TONS of pictures. :) Some didn't turn out great cuz the stuff was in glass cases, but overall the museum was very cool.

Ok, I'll wrap this up now... I'm super excited to go camping! I think that says it all :)

Jen

howdyyy.

yeah, it's karissa. i haven't been on here in forever! majority of the reason because i never can come on the computer. and i'm too lazy to type everything i wanna say while i'm on my phone. BUT; on the bright side, no more full weeks of school for me! i'm oober excited. graduation's coming up quick! and speaking of which, my birthday was a few days ago, for those of you who are too old to recall such a thing. i had to work in the morning, then went to miltown with mi madre for the tat. and then when we got back to town, i went to valder's to kayla's house for a bonfire with some people. it kind of angered me that it had to snow that day, though. it was bogus! but, i'm over it. finally eighteen, that's all that matters, :)

i'm so happy that i'm the only good child in this family. hah; well, in this immediate family, anyways. everyone's gotten in trouble at school, whether it be detention or iss; everyone besides me. i guess it must be because i'm just that awesome. that's proof enough.

ah, summer's coming. graduation, camping, florida, and a crapload of slumber parties and bonfires. it's going to be amazing. or at least i'm hoping that'll be the case. since i'm not going off to college right away, i'm planning on taking majority of my days off of work to be gone camping or away from this mess of a town, and out doing fun stuff i won't have time to do once school starts back up again. if that made sense, hah.

anywho. i'm very overtired, even though i probably won't make it to bed for another 3 hours. but, i'll try. maybe i'll read, since that helped me last night. i'm just hoping for once i can get over 4 hours of sleep.

later, folks!

A Good Man's Hands

So this is a picture that Michaela took of Mike's hands. These hands are my favorite part of his body...I'm not kidding. I can sit and stare at these hands for hours. This is what I think of:

These are the hands that opened the door for me on our first date. The hands that gave me a ring. The hands that wear my ring showing the world that we are together forever. These hands joined mine on the alter of God. These hands hold me tight when we dance as if we are the only people in the room.

These hands touched my belly whether it was with my second, third, fourth or fifth child as if it was the very first. These hands held my babies, nieces and nephews with a love and strength that showed them he would always be there. These hands never accepted charity when they could work twice as hard to provide for our family. These hands show signs of hard work and age.....but everytime I look at them I think of another reason why I love them. A simple touch from these hands truly tell me that I am loved and that I will never be alone.

My hope is that all of you find a pair of hands like these. Hands that will always pick you up when you are down, hold you when you need to feel love. Hands that will never show you pain. For the men in my life, Joshuah, Kenneth and Dustin..I hope you use your hands in the same way to make everyone around you feel special. (I know you will)

So this is just a few reasons why I love these hands.

2-T

Summer, Here I Come

Well hello! It's been sometime since I have last been on here. Some of you guys are deep thinkers. I would have never suspected that ha. Anyways. What is new with me? Nothing really. Other than I have been busy lately. I have worked every day this previous week till ten each night. And I have been decked out with homework. ALTHOUGH! I just received the BEST NEWS EVER! haha. Karissa, has invited me to Florida this summer. "in Juylyish" and my mom, Of all people, said YES! ha Sooo now I am super excited ha. I can't wait till summer. This will be the best yet :) I have a friend visiting for a whole week, camping, then Florida, then what else will come. AH im excited. ha
anyways. what else can i say. Hmm I have been taking more pictures. Although, its been kinda poopy here. which sucks. And In result of my picture taking... my project is just about done. I can't wait till its completely done :)
Umm Kenny was home! Although, i have to admit we didn't get to do much. which was the down fall. Along with that, most of the relatives were not home. soo that just about adds up to it. So I'm hoping the graduation will be better. Speaking of which, my ACT testing, is the day after graduation. which sucks ha. I am not looking forward to that.
Well I should get off, I have homework to do, although I am all hyped up, i don't think i can stay in one spot ha.
- Michaela Jo :)

It;s 2-T Again!

So it's been a while since I blogged to you all....Since then, Kenny was home, Kari and Megan went to Colorado and Josh & Jenny went to Vegas....Wow, that sounds like we're really busy. It was nice to have Kenny home. I like being at the bar looking across the room and seeing him there having fun with his friends. It's been a long time. When he's home I lay in bed knowing that he's upstairs on the fouton and I get this feeling of calm wash over me. Knowing that he's home and safe in the bed right above me. And not sleeping upstairs at some bar. I'm glad he'll be home for graduation and able to spend time with all of us. I really wish Heather was coming home. We were watching my video that Emma-Jean made me a few days ago and the picture of all the kids at Kenny's graduation came on the screen......It's a nice feeling to see all of you together. I think it was the last picture taken of all of you. I look to the right of the picture and there's Kasey with a huge smile on his face. And sure enough, right in front of him is David with the Crab-Ass look. It's priceless.

I can't believe that my 4th kid is graduating. Where has the time gone. It seems like just yesterday Josh was falling out of the tree in Oconto at Auntie Carrie's 95th birthday party. Or Heather saying "no more diapers", or Kendra yelling "I wanna get out". And can you believe that Kelli is FINALLY 40. What the hell's up with that. It took her long enough.

Well if any of you want to step-up and help Kari and Kim in the kitchen for graduation that would be great. Kelli and I have to socialize. And drink a few Mike's. Kelli will probably start the fire though. Because you know none of us will do it right. I might do something stupid like use lighter-fluid. That would really tick her off. Ha!

Well enough from this old lady. See you all soon. Love Ya, 2-T

UPDATE

So its offically been a week since I was home. And I must say I had a blast. It was great seein the fam again. It just funny because it seems like no one has changed. Which is super duper. Kendra and Noah still fight all the time. Jacob is getting older and funnier. But best of all I got to eat good home food again. OmG do i miss burgers and brats on the grill. I can not wait till graduation so i can have more. Who knows maybe I will shoot for 20 burgers this party. So Other than seeing the fam i did get to see most of my friends from high school which was nice. Even though they were the reason why i did not sleep most of the weekend but what else do you have to do when you young. Plus once your 39 wind comes you feel great. BUt I must say Not getting to see josh sucked. Who else am i going to practice my knob chuck stills with. Plus I just cut my finger dam!!!! So Summer is ofically here in my books so Everyone is excited for camping back home but i am more excited for the Blackhawks next game. I must say I have became obcessed with hockey since I moved here. I must watch 5 games a weeks it pretty crazy. So GO Blackhawks and Signin off OWen Jenson aka Kenny

emma the great :)

well hello everyone! i havnt been on here in a while so it just took me a good 15 min to read all the blogs i missed. well not to much is knew, i went to my first cubs game at Wrigley field and i LOVEDDDD it!! we got front row bleacher seats meaning during warm ups we got all the fly balls it was so crazy people would jump over other people just to get a ball! i got my hair pulled a few times and countless beers spilt on me. the only downer i had about the day was all the homeless people. i wonder if there is a disorder or phobia with homeless people because i have it. i just cringe up when i see them and they are just so nasty an scary and there were so many it was sick!!! minus that i had a great time and defiantly plan on going back next year with the Andrastkes. so what else is knew... well ken came home last weekend and finally got to experience the great mac that i have been talking about and even agreed it was so tasty!!! so thats good. hmmm oh yeah prom is this next weekend and i'm pretty excited about getting all dressed up, pictures and not to mention dinner at haley's were her mom is doing a buffet line of alfrado!!! noodles, sauce, broccoli, chicken, shrimp, different veggies and salad oh man i cant wait!!! i'll upload some pictures up on facebook and here so kelli can see too. well i am going to get going its Wednesday and you know what that means OUT TO EAT! or should i say happy meal night. ha
lataaaaaaaa!♥

"Inspiration"

"I felt reluctant to leave those brutal and rugged mountains, the dry, scorching plains... The life is wonderful, strange- the fascination of it clutches me like some unseen animal- it seems to whisper, 'Come back, you belong here, this is your real home.'"
N.C. Wyeth, 1904


The aircraft slowly climbed to 30,000 feet that afternoon. With the ascent came a deep sadness and dread within me. I couldn't help but acknowledge the ever widening gap that existed between myself, the wonderful mountain range, and also the truest love that I have ever known.

Since as long as I can remember there has been my sister. We grew side by side, on one team, with one heart. As kids I acted as her protector and even on the occasion, her voice. As we grew, so did our independent minds, but somehow, someway, we were ever tethered together by a common thread. We have seen and felt so much together that I know within my heart that no one will ever compare. For that I am truly grateful.

The tragedy of today is the literal gap that exists between our physical selves. She has gone to pursue and seize life in the greatest way that she could conjure. For that, I have a magnitude of respect and knowing her as I do, I get it.

I, myself, have yet to be untied from point B. All of you (yes, you dear kin) keep me here; feeling reluctant to roam West. The idea of being away is difficult, even painful to think about... especially since, in such recent times, one of us has been lost. I know that our hearts will not give up on each other, regardless of space, time, place, idea, opinion, etc. There is however, a little clock that is tick -tocking away; deep within the recesses of my being. There will come a day when I depart to point C, maybe even D or E... But know that it is the love that I have learned from all of you that pushes me to grow and love my life as much as humanly possible. This is not to say that moving away or separation is necessarily the source of growth. I am a firm believer, however that we learn the most about ourselves when we allow there to be challenge and a lack of familiarity.

Family is home and I am certain that Heather and Kenny can agree that nothing by way of the heart is lost with space. Our family is one of a kind and it will stay bound and unbroken for all time.

Deepest love,

Meg

Kelli's Turn...it's been a while................

Zup all?

Not much here but I thought it was time I add my 2 cents to the mix. Spent the weekend at a bridal shower and baby shower. Reminded me of why I really dislike (yes, I'm trying to be nice) people. Talk about loud and annyong. Really - how many times can people saw awww to pot holders, spatulas, diapers, and baby shampoo. I realize the excitement of the situation, but wow. Maybe I'm just way to bitchy to ever show that kind of excitement. On the other hand, I did get to see Kenny!!!!! That was a HUGE plus. It's amazing how much you can miss people you love.

Not to be Debbie downer, but I hope everyone wished Kasey a happy birthday. I even asked God to give him an extra piece of cake. Though, knowing Kasey, if he had his choice, he probably asked for pumpkin bars and licked all the frosting so he wouldn't have to share. I still miss him a million times every day. There are just so many things to remember. He was the shitz.

Can't wait for camping. Just want all ya bitches to know, if you don't make EVERY effort to clear your schedules and come along, I may have to get mean. That is the one time of the year when we can all be together, hang out, drink and enjoy the "ducks". Us old people even get to go trick or treating. I don't care how old you all get, camping and spending time with us old farts (that goes along with the "ducks") should be your number one priority. At least I think so. It seems like as the years go by, we have less and less people. I hate to see the day when John plans meatballs again and there's only like 10 people there to choke on them. Seriously, last time we had like 25 people and there was 150 extra meatballs. We may have to get creative and make testicle toss balls out of them or something. Ha-Ha

Nothing else new here. Karissa and I are going to Milwaukee on her birthday to get inked. I can't wait to watch her. Hope she's as tough as she thinks she is. He=He

I really like this idea. Since I can't have FaceBook because I'm too old, I get to hear from each of you. Sometimes I think you bitches forget where we live and forget our phone numbers. Remember, I am the cool mom now and I TEXT!! Jealously will get you no where so get over it.

L-you all

Kelli